This short article is inspired by this time of the year. There are only two days left to New Year and many of you will make New Year’s resolutions (as we tend to do). I am sure you have said or heard the phrase “New Year- New Me”. But is it really the case?
During this time of the year we make new promises to ourselves, that the next year, will be different. That we will make changes, that we will change something in our life, or that we will change ourselves.… Great! Fantastic! But what next?
The reality
95% of those New Year’s resolutions never come true. By the end of January, we either coming back to the old patterns or we never even started the resolutions. Why? Well, there are a few possibilities:
- You set up unrealistic goals- your subconscious mind doesn’t believe it, and for that won’t act upon it to help you out achieve it.
- You don’t have the motivation to do it- ask yourself if the new resolutions are really yours and for you, or you just try to please someone else?
- The idea of change is frightening- if you don’t like change, you will be resisting it.
- You don’t want to get out of your comfort zone- you are comfortable where you are, and you are not willing to expand your comfort zone.
- Laziness – any change requires both your work and perseverance, which you are not willing to do.
Fix it and make it happen
The good news is that you can be in control. And if you really want to make new resolutions work, ask yourself what exactly YOU want? Make sure that the new goals are for you, not for somebody else. Make a list of the goals you want to complete or achieve in the next year. It can be anything at all eg, change a job, losing weight, read more books, be more kind, be more mindful of self-care, learn how to cook, travel more… anything… but the goal needs to be for you and needs to be realistic.
Let me give you an example. If you haven’t read any books for a year or two but your new goal is to read 50 books a year… that’s about 1 book a week… that’s unrealistic. Your mind will scream ‘No way I’m going to do that!’ But if you will say I want to read 12 books a year, which is 1 book a month. That’s realistic, so your inner voice will tell you ‘Ok, I can try it, I think I will be able to find time to read 1 book a month”. Do you see the difference?
Endings
Another thing that I want to address in this article (my last article of 2020) is that people have different attitudes to endings. Some people hate it, some people love it. Some people will be dragging it for many weeks, some will be quick and never want to come back to it… but with the New Year.. there is an ending, yes, but it’s not the ending you think it is. Most people approach the New Year like ‘That’s it, 2020 is over, is behind us, now we have 2021 let’s expect miracles and let’s forget the 2020’. Is that your attitude?
Let me give you a different perspective. Who you are today, it didn’t happen over 1 year. Look at yourself, look at how many years of life experience and wisdom you have. Who you are today, your personality, your beliefs, your opinions, your behaviors, everything that makes you being you is the accumulation of the PAST years.
So, the belief that 2020 is ending and 2021 is staring and that those years are separated and have nothing in common is just an illusion. Each past year and each year to come are blended. They are connected. They are like small rings of the same chain, like a chapter of the same book.
Reflection
This time of the year is a time for reflection. It’s time where you should look back, and see what you gained from this chapter, what did you learn, what did you like, what would you like to change. Where did you make mistakes, and what did you do about them? What didn’t you like? What was difficult and what wasn’t?
Remember every change starts from today (not from tomorrow). Every decision you make TODAY impacts your tomorrow. If you want to change, you change today not tomorrow. Notice what you have and use it. You have today, and that’s definite. But tomorrow might never come. You can’t take tomorrow for granted…
I wish you all a happy, peaceful, healthy, and full of love New Year!
Best wishes,
