The History…
Did you ever make a promise to yourself, and after some time, just from nowhere (other than your soul), you get the feeling to do something you said you were not made for, or you convinced yourself it wouldn’t be a good idea?
Well, this article will be exactly about that. It’s about the limitations we put upon ourselves not realising what we are missing out on as a result.
We make many decisions that are based on ego, coming out of our fears: fears from the unknown, fear of challenges, or even fear of coming out of our comfort zone. It is so easy to convince ourselves that something is good for us, even though we are limited to seeing the bigger picture. And those limitations are shaped based on our experiences, beliefs, environment… grief, trauma, pain, hurt, fear- all of that doesn’t allow us to step outside of our comfort zone, even when it no longer serves us.
Recently, I too totally came out of my comfort zone. I did it based on the idea and feeling I got one Thursday evening. But let me start from the beginning: as many of you are aware, eighteen months ago we had to put our dog Suzi to sleep due to her very poor health condition. As I described my relationship with her in my book “Trauma through the Inner Child’s Eyes”- it was a love-hate relationship, that wasn’t easy, and I grieved her a lot. It was a very difficult time. After that loss, we promised that we would never get another dog. For many different reasons- one of the reasons was the comfort and easiness of not having the dog, and the other one of course was the pain of losing a dog after 12 years of being part of the family.
New Begining…
Fast forward 18 months, here I am, sitting in my garden, writing this article, and guess who is lying 2 meters away- yes, you guessed- our puppy.
No, we didn’t plan it. We talked about it on Thursday evening and then on Friday evening we had her with us. I am so grateful to have her. Over the last month, I have learned so much, because of her. I realised things that didn’t cross my mind before, and if they did it wasn’t from the same perspective.
First of all, I need to say that we never had a puppy before. Yes, we had a dog before, but she was fully grown when we adopted her… it was a completely different story, than what we are experiencing with Bella so far.
I never had a puppy before, I didn’t know how vulnerable, dependent, needy, innocent, time-consuming, and inexperienced they can be. Yet, they learn so quickly, they trust so quickly, and they love you so quickly. This is the reason I am writing this article, Bella is my inspiration for the healing process that we as humans need to do. We can learn so much from our animals- all we need to do is open up our hearts and really look at what they are trying to teach us.
Life Lessons:
Here are the few reflections over the last month that came to my mind, that were a big eye-opening for me, therefore I wanted to share them with you.
- Unconditional love– we as humans, are hugely struggling with this concept. Many of us experienced childhood trauma, and as a result, we never got to experience, receive or give unconditional love, because we are either afraid of the love or because we don’t feel worthy of that love. Dogs are great teachers when comes to unconditional love, they will love you unconditionally, even when you don’t meet their needs. For them, you are good enough and worthy enough. They love you the way you are no matter what! Dogs are not afraid of love, they are love.
- Vulnerability– we humans see it as a sign of weakness and flaws. Dogs, on the contrary, see it as an opportunity to learn. They are real in whatever they do, they don’t try to pretend that they are not afraid when they are. Yet, they will show you clearly that they are and that they need comfort. When they are vulnerable, they don’t hide away, they are looking for closeness. Dogs are not afraid to show their emotions, they stay very real with their feelings.
- Changing perceptions– at the beginning, dogs are not aware that one day they will be adult dogs, big and strong. They take day by day, as an opportunity to learn something new. Even though they might not be aware of their strength at first they keep testing their strength, by learning new skills and trying new things all the time. They are in the constant process of changing their perception of themselves. As a result, they didn’t know how to do it at once, they kept trying until they mastered that new skill. That is something amazing that I have observed. We, humans, are way too quick to give up on something or too quick to tell ourselves “I can’t”.
- Coming out of the comfort zone- We struggle with change so much. Coming out of our comfort zone is something that humans tend to avoid. The minute something makes us uncomfortable (eg. emotion, situation, people, event, perspective- we will try to come back to our comfort zone). The comfort zone is the killer of our learning, growth, and potential. You will never really get to know yourself unless you expand your comfort zone. On the other hand, dogs are great teachers when comes to their comfort zone. They don’t care what they don’t know, and they will constantly challenge their limits.
- Grounding- We humans often struggle with this aspect. We overthink everything, we are constantly planning and thinking either about the past or the future. It’s odd for us to be fully present for more than just a few minutes. Dogs are completely opposites. They only live in the present moment. They don’t hold grudges, they don’t have wishful thinking, they don’t try to figure out what humans might think. They don’t care. Walking a dog can be so therapeutic, they will stop and observe the surroundings. They are very present at each moment of the day.
- Playfulness- Another amazing lesson that we really could take from our animals is being more playful. Dogs are just great at playing. We too once were, or at least we meant to have that playful time, in our childhood. Regardless of your childhood, adults too need time to have fun, to play, to laugh out loud, and just to have a good time (that doesn’t necessarily involve intoxication). However, the truth is, that so many people are so uncomfortable with playing, or the thought of having fun. We take life so seriously, with no distance to ourselves or others. We take everything so personally, that we leave very little or no space for mistakes, fun, learning, or the unknown. We want to control everything, being in our logical mind. We forgot about the creative aspect of us. We humans are very creative beings, but when we don’t use that aspect of us, it goes to sleep. Dogs will teach you greatly how to play or how to have fun. They do it all the time.
Conclusion
To conclude, animals are not only great friends, but they are also great teachers and protectors. They protect us, our families, our homes and our energies. They remind us of the importance of the little things, and to stay focused on our everyday lives, because through those little moments, we create memories. Our lives are not only based on those big things, big moments, or big achievements. Our lives are happening every day, every minute of the day- so pay attention to it too. Don’t let your life pass you by unnoticed.
With love,
