Reflecting on 2024: Lessons Learned
As I sit here reflecting on 2024, one word comes to mind: lesson. That’s exactly what this year has been for me—a big, messy, beautiful lesson in every corner of my life.
I never thought I’d look in the mirror and feel like I didn’t recognize myself. But honestly, that’s where I found myself this year. I’ve always been a dreamer. Big dreams, big plans—that’s me. And, funny enough, the things I’ve wanted have always found their way to me—usually when I least expected it. But 2024 wasn’t just about achieving dreams; it was about the process, the hard truths, and the growth that came along for the ride.
If I go back a little further, the last three years were some of the toughest and most transformative of my life. I had to navigate new roles and figure out who I was in each of them:
- Who am I as an entrepreneur and CEO?
- Who am I as a lecturer and teacher?
- Who am I as a boss?
- Who am I as a traumatologist and psychotherapist?
- Who am I as a daughter and sister?
- And most importantly, who am I as a mother and wife?
Somewhere in all of this, I also found myself asking, “Who is the woman staring back at me in the mirror?”
The Journey of Rediscovery
To say this journey has been easy would be a lie. The past three years have pushed me to feel fear in ways I never have before. I’ve dealt with anxiety and so much uncertainty. There were days I felt emotionally drained, like my tank was completely empty. I hated that feeling.
I also lost people along the way—friends, relationships that no longer fit. Some of those losses were mutual; we just outgrew each other. Others were harder because I had to let them go. When I was younger, losing people felt different—back then, all I had to focus on was surviving. Now, I have so much more to lose, and that makes the sense of loss heavier.
Still, even with all that, I feel like this is just the beginning. Everything I’ve been through feels like groundwork for what’s to come. So, here are a few of the biggest lessons I’ve taken away from 2024—and really, the last three years.
1. Never Betray Yourself for Anyone
I’ve felt shame and guilt plenty of times in my life. But when you’re at a point where you don’t feel like you matter, those feelings don’t stick as much. You don’t care enough about yourself—or others—for it to leave a mark.
These last three years were different. I poured my heart into everything I did—every session, every book, every workshop, every masterclass. Everything I created was a reflection of me and my values. That’s why, when my reputation came into question this year, it hit me so hard.
In June, I gave a radio interview on childhood and generational trauma. Without my knowledge, the interview was deleted. What followed was a wave of criticism that forced me to take a hard look at my values. Talking about trauma isn’t easy, especially when you don’t know how it will be received. But that experience taught me one thing: never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot say.
That was a tough lesson, but one I needed. It showed me the importance of staying true to myself, no matter what.
2. Don’t Hold on to People Out of Guilt
Not everyone in your life is meant to stay forever, and that’s okay. Some people won’t want the same things for you, and others might not wish you well. It’s not your job to change them or fix the situation.
Sometimes we hold on to people out of guilt because they’ve helped us in the past. But here’s the thing: you have to live in the present. How does that relationship make you feel now? Do you trust this person?
Holding on to someone out of guilt or obligation only ends up hurting you in the long run. Letting go is hard, but it’s necessary. Some people are here to teach us, help us, or show us what we need to heal within ourselves. Very few are meant to stay forever, and that’s okay.
3. Boundaries Are for You, Not Them
This was a tricky one for me, mostly because it came with so much guilt. There were times when I felt proud of myself for setting boundaries, only to have them tested again and again.
What I’ve learned is that boundaries aren’t for other people; they’re for you. They’re a gift you give yourself—a way of saying, “I’m worthy, and I deserve this.”
At first, setting boundaries feels uncomfortable, especially if you’re not used to valuing yourself. But that discomfort is part of growth. People might not like your boundaries, and they might even push back. That’s okay. Hold your ground, and remember why you set them in the first place.
4. Healing Is Not Linear
I’ve spent years in therapy working through my complex PTSD. But the last three years have taken my healing to a whole new level. As I grew and discovered more about myself, I also uncovered deeper layers of trauma.
Healing is like peeling an onion—it never ends. This year, I had a flashback to a memory from when I was just three months old. It felt surreal, but my mother confirmed it actually happened. That experience reminded me that all our answers are inside us. We just have to stay open to receiving them.
Healing isn’t a straight path. It’s messy, it’s painful, and it’s ongoing. But it’s also worth it.
5. You Are Not Responsible for Others’ Happiness
When you love someone, it’s natural to want to fix their problems. But this year taught me that not everyone wants to be saved—and not everyone can be.
We each have our own journey, our own baggage, and our own lessons to learn. You can’t carry someone else’s burdens or solve their problems for them. It’s not your job. Letting go of that responsibility is hard, but it’s necessary.
6. Failure Doesn’t Exist
This one was hard for me to grasp, especially since perfectionism used to be my safety net. But this year, I faced what I thought was my biggest fear—failure—and came out the other side just fine.
I realized that failure is an illusion. Life didn’t stop when things didn’t work out. Instead, I grew. I shifted my focus from the outcome to the journey itself. And honestly, that’s where the real magic happens.
Looking Ahead
When I was seven, I vowed to God that I would help people. But with that vow came a huge responsibility that I didn’t even know existed. Today, I understand what it means.
For me to help people, to be your guide, to somehow influence your life for the better, I need to be a walking example that it is possible. Before I can lead anyone, I need to lead myself. Before I can teach you, I need to teach myself. Otherwise, it won’t work. Otherwise, it would just be a hypocritical act—and that’s not who I am.
I see my work as one of my greatest privileges in life. I know this is what my soul has chosen to do. It feels right. But the price of this privilege is that I have to face my own shadows so that you can feel strong in my presence and do the same.
As we step into 2025, I’m doing something I’ve never done before: I’m entering the year without a plan. No resolutions. No specific goals. I’m surrendering to whatever comes next.
2025 will bring closures and new beginnings. And for the first time, I’m ready to simply let it be.
With love,
Sylwia
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